God and Life

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I am a strong believer in God but won’t doubt your faith in whom you worship. Throughout my life I was raised in church an eventually stopped going around my late twenties.Not to say I don’t miss going I just have noticed Churches anymore lack certain passion and faith. Went to a church one time where I promise there was no Holy Spirit at all an people in the church were very uppity in their ways. That’s not how I remember church growing up people were always so kind and friendly an prayed for one another even loyal.

People always say God doesn’t put you through anything you can’t overcome. I believe that but many times in my life I have question where he is sending me.Because by now in my life I thought I would be in Corporate America, married to the love of my life and two kids. Right now I have none of that and still continuing to work to get there. I figured when I visited home to see my mom and dad they would be proud of me but now I feel like I failed them everyday.

Mostly to how I performed in school I thought I was going to do better and land a great job after college again I didn’t. So now I am trying hard everyday trying to improve myself and land the corporate job I have always wanted a Business Executive and make enough to let my parents retire.  The dream still lives but my struggles continue

I just want to be out of my struggle and be successful but even Mark Zuckerburg wasn’t immediately famous. Took him eight years and many investors before he finally found his mark on in the world. But he also discovered something incredible early in his college years. Me I am now discovering what I am good at and I feel so behind and along the lines missed my opportunity. What was my opportunity? I guess it was doing so well in College and making something of myself earlier rather than later. In my first post I talked about how far I’ve come in a year

But all in all I haven’t moved very far just added a few new skills which I have no idea what to do with along with my many ideas I often get at 4am. My brain usually goes into overdrive at odd times for example I once wrote a poem about high school really late at night, Even got to read it in front of my graduating class highlight of my high school career.

I guess I wish I knew what I am meant to be doing instead figuring out the larger picture for myself. Does anyone else have this problem? Because it feels like a blessing an a curse on one hand I may have avoided disaster and on the other I’m living a life I never imagined. However I do believe God has the best laid plans for me or he’s making all these obstacles for me now so I appreciate things later in the future. Just a thought

Hope you enjoyed reading this it feels good to let some resentment out of my system but also get some understanding of oneself. 

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